Category Archives: The Complaint Department

I Need A Crying Room…In All The Places

crying

There is an old movie theater in our little town called The Ritz, it’s one of those places with red carpet on the walls and black and white photos of people in top hats attending the theater. It smells like farts and sadness. They also have this amazing circa 1950’s room at the back of […]

I’m Having An Intimate Relationship…With My Fit Bit

hearts

I’m not training for an Iron Man Competition or a marathon, hell I don’t even walk my dog (mostly because I have kids), but I am an upright mammal who has to walk to the mailbox so that’s physical activity and probably requires tracking. So I requested a Fit Bit for Mother’s Day and then […]

I Like Not Seeing Bloody Body Parts

bloody heart

When I was 17 I watched a colonoscopy and what I assume was some sort of heart surgery. I stood over a man and watched as a doctor used a shiny metal contraption to spread a total stranger’s ribs open until all I could see was a pumping heart and lots of bright red body […]