How about I Charge You For Pissing Me Off?

I knew there was a more than one reason I don’t shop at Toys R Us on a regular basis…I used to think it was just the because everything is overpriced. No, I realize now that there are a few reasons to steer clear of this childhood hoarding opportunity.
Reason 1: I was only there for 45 minutes and encountered more employees than customers. thats why your toys cost 40% more. When you have enough time to have a pow wow in the Playdough aisle, you may be a little overstaffed.
Reason 2: Did not see posted on price of bike “Price listed here is no where close to what you will pay at the register”. Apparently they can charge you 10 bucks extra to put the bike together…even when they really don’t put it together. They give you the floor model and laugh all the way to the bank. Bastards.
Reason 3: There is no such thing as a quick trip into Toys R Us with children. It’s as overwhelming to their senses as Forever 21 is to mine. Where to start? What to grab? How long to cry to get what I want? Then just wander aimlessly for two hours and not know how to spend my small gank of cash.
Once a year I get to remember why I avoid this place at all costs….because, friends, the cost is pretty fucking high.

Things To Ponder On Mother’s Day…

I had to laugh out loud yesterday when I heard my daughter and her friend talking in the other room. The prequel to this story is that I had worked until midnight the night before, went grocery shopping after, got to bed at 2 am and crawled out of bed the next morning at 6:30 am to run my first 5K. So as I am resting on the couch that afternoon I hear my daughter say “Yeah, I don’t know, my mom is just laying on the couch today” Her friend says ” Yeah that’s what moms do all the time..they take lots of naps” Ha ha ha ha…the hell we do. Frankly, I am concerned for moms that don’t ever lay on the couch and rest. Even once. My mom and grandma were like that…I don’t remember my grandma even sitting down let alone resting at any point in her life. I am pretty sure looking back that she was superhuman in every way…. so that standard is completely unreachable. The only “naps” my mom took were with my dad on Sunday afternoon with the door locked. I don’t think there was a lot of sleep involved.
I remember my mom saying “When your kids are young, you just don’t nap. You need to keep your eyes on them at all times” And she did. I give her props cause she was with us or watching us all the time. I am a different mom and have just recently come to accept this. I sit and read the paper for an hour in the morning….I fall asleep on the couch while the kids play in the backyard….I sleep through movie night and I am a great mom. So here’s to all the moms out there who nap….kids need happy, well rested mommys and sometimes napping through Spongebob is how we make it through a day of laughing, playing, holding and teaching. Happy Mama’s Day.

Kindness Matters…So Stop Being Such A Bitch

Little update to people in the world who are insistent on being complete fucking bitches when ordering at a drive thru. Not that hard to put some emphasis on kindness and being polite…I am showing you that courtesy when I repeat your order back to you. I am making sure you get exactly what you pay for at the window. So don’t be an asshole and drive off while I am talking…that makes me want to give you the wrong drink and stink eye. You then have the audacity to hand me your money and not look at me…like I’m a leper or something? Kind of wanted to punch you out when you ended the transaction with “Ummm..did you get these right?” Don’t know…why don’t you pull away while you still can cause I am about ready to crawl out this window and choke a bitch.