Why would you do that to your own child? Or yourself.

Can we please talk about people who find it perfectly acceptable to give thier young children rat tails? (Definition: Short hair cut with one very long chunk of hair at the nape of the neck) I understand that you had a boy and not a girl and that maybe he has really great locks. But no one has been an awful enough kid to have to look like white trash at four years old. Also please stop the epidemic of mullets now before its too late. I regularly see men and women in this decade sporting a style that went out with Oglvie home perms. It is not attractive…even on you. The truth is you will never be as young and cool as you were when you drove that T-Bird, rocked out to Def Leppard and dated high school girls. Cut that fucking mullet and get on with your life. Please.

Double Whopper…and not the juicy burger

Two stories for one low price today. Event one: While repeating order back to customer I say “Okay so that’s one tall ass white….I mean tall iced white mocha”. Luckily we all laughed and no one had to meet with their bishop over it. Event Two: “Welcome to ———, what can I get for you today?” “Yeah can I get three chocolate kids?”. Ummm we actually just ran out of chocolate kids, but if you are interested in some vanilla or cinnamon kids I could set that up for you. It’s amazing how mixing up a few words can really make you sound like a creep.

No children were harmed nor sold to creeps in this story.

You are paying with what????

I wish I could make these things up….but the sad fact is they happen everyday. Working the drive thru yesterday, I had a lady pull up to pay for her coffees. Instead of grabbing a purse or counting change out of her ash tray (do they still put those in cars?) she starts counting money out of plastic jar labeled “Donations, Please Help”. Apparently raising money for cancer treatment is so last year….now you can raise money to help you pay for overpriced coffee. I really wanted to slap some sense into this bitch, but as an employee of an upstanding establishment I am not at will to slap hos. So she took her jar-full-o-money and her beverages and rode off into the sunset. Those are the moments I really hope karma is a bitch…a nasty, coniving, dirty little bitch.