Double Whopper…and not the juicy burger

Two stories for one low price today. Event one: While repeating order back to customer I say “Okay so that’s one tall ass white….I mean tall iced white mocha”. Luckily we all laughed and no one had to meet with their bishop over it. Event Two: “Welcome to ———, what can I get for you today?” “Yeah can I get three chocolate kids?”. Ummm we actually just ran out of chocolate kids, but if you are interested in some vanilla or cinnamon kids I could set that up for you. It’s amazing how mixing up a few words can really make you sound like a creep.

No children were harmed nor sold to creeps in this story.

You are paying with what????

I wish I could make these things up….but the sad fact is they happen everyday. Working the drive thru yesterday, I had a lady pull up to pay for her coffees. Instead of grabbing a purse or counting change out of her ash tray (do they still put those in cars?) she starts counting money out of plastic jar labeled “Donations, Please Help”. Apparently raising money for cancer treatment is so last year….now you can raise money to help you pay for overpriced coffee. I really wanted to slap some sense into this bitch, but as an employee of an upstanding establishment I am not at will to slap hos. So she took her jar-full-o-money and her beverages and rode off into the sunset. Those are the moments I really hope karma is a bitch…a nasty, coniving, dirty little bitch.

Wal Mart Urinal. Yeah, thats right.

Half way through a store the size of four football fields seem like a perfect time to need a potty. Planning isn’t hard wired into a three year old, so I will let it slide this time. So here were are cart derbying through shoppers to avoid a pee catastrophe. As we slide into home, I observe a disturbingly dirty cleaning cart blocking the Women’s restroom. At that point, I really looked around for someone that may have a great idea on what to do now. Hello, checker, what do you think of me letting him piss in the water fountain? My mind is racing and the pee is coming, so to avoid a smellier mom sweater I allow my three year old to brave the men’s room alone. I know….Jesus…I know but what the hell else was I suppose to do? So I stand close to the entrance and check in every 10 seconds. The 15th time I ask if he is okay..I hear this “Yeah mommy these urinals are cool and the same size as me”. Huh. Me in panic mode and you enjoying the scenery, lesson learned my small friend. Lesson learned.