The Book

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Have you ever wanted to invest in someone’s dream? Are you amused by foul language and inappropriate stories? Do you have twenty bucks burning a hole in your jean pocket? Well, you have come to the right place, friend. I am currently penning my first novel and looking for investors who believe in my dream of becoming a published author. Basically, I want you to be my personal Daddy Warbucks. All donations to my “Finish That Fucking Book” fund will be used to pay for an editor, book cover design and other ridiculous fees associated with writing a novel.

After attending The LaJolla Writing Conference in October of 2013, I came home with a notebook full of ideas and the motivation I needed to move forward on this crazy project. When I printed off the work I had done on my book, I had a little tear in my eye. There were 160 pages of absurd and hilarious stories that I am now attempting to make into a humorous, real life sneak peek into all the dirty details of how a goth chick with an alcohol problem ended up happily married and living in the suburbs. Check back regularly to see how this book is progressing and to make sure that the money you are throwing at me is going to good use. You don’t have to worry about me shopping for expensive belts or trendy stilettos with your donations, because I have no fashion sense and garner most of my apparel from thrift stores.

With your generous donation of $20.00 or more, you will be financing my dream and guaranteeing yourself a signed copy of my first book. This, in reality, will be worth about 78 cents, so invest wisely.


Beer