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Yes, We Are THOSE People

It’s nearing the end of January, which means I have had my Christmas decorations up for 2 full months. That may seem long enough for most people, but it’s not nearly long enough for me. Not because I have some far reaching admiration for Santa cookie jars or an unwavering need to ugly cry at the sight of handmade ornaments sparkling on my tree. My reasoning is less sentimental and more ridiculous…I’m just giving zero fucks about doing what I’m “supposed” to do this year. Including, but not limited to, taking down my holiday decor in a timely manner.

(I took this picture of my tree today, so rest assured it is still up and sparkling.)

Offended by this? Good. Cause I'm offended by your face.

Offended by this? Good. Cause I’m offended by your face.

I used to be that person. I would spend three days setting up my Christmas decorations precisely when I was supposed to, right after Thanksgiving. Then I would not enjoy them for an entire month because I was busy getting prepared for the “perfect” Christmas celebration. Then during the first week of January, like a good little girl, I would pack away all the snowmen plates and carefully stash the fake pine garland in a giant Rubbermaid container. All the while telling myself “Next year, I will decorate earlier so I can actually look at these decorations that take 60 fucking hours of my life to set up.” Well, this was the year. The decorations were pulled out from our midget sized basement the week before Thanksgiving because guess what, motherfuckers? I wanted to see them while I ate a vat of gravy and sucked down enough wine to paralyze an elephant. And I enjoyed the shit out of my Christmas mantle this year. I finally felt like one of those fancy decorating ladies on Pinterest who have boards full of ideas on re-purposing milk jugs and tampon strings. I was that lady.

Santa Village is a bustle of activity well into February. And August.

Santa Village is a bustle of activity well into February. And August.

Then Christmas came and went and I was still digging on my Christmas decor. Specifically my tree that we all decorated as a family (begrudgingly, I might add) with old ornaments from my childhood, new ornaments from Target, and a shit show mishmash of handmade crap the kids have brought home from school that are nearly coming apart at their Popsicle stick seams.  I’m still enjoying my tree today. We have the tree lights on every night and it gives off a warm glow that says to people passing by or coming for a visit “We don’t give a fuck what you think, this is our house, and we will enjoy this tree until July if we want to.”

I’ve seen numerous posts on FB about how offended and put off people are about us renegades who refuse to clean up our holiday decorations in a timely manner. One post went as far as to call people with Christmas shit still up in January “psychopaths”. This person has clearly never met a real psychopath cause they are substantially more frightening than a middle aged white woman with icicle lights and a blow up Santa in her front yard. I’m not planning to burn a body in my backyard like a real psychopath, I’m just too lazy to take down the Santa village and I like sparkly lights.

Someone made this quote meme with my picture on it and I'm grateful. #pignose

Someone made this quote meme with my picture on it and I’m grateful. #pignose

This is my new year, new attitude stance on everything that I used to be a perfectionist whack job about….I DON”T GIVE A FUCK, EVEN IF YOU DO. Byron Katie got it right with this quote “What I believe about me is my business; what you believe about me is your business.” So I’ll just take my psychopathic self over to my Christmas tree and enjoy some sparkly lights while I savor another cup of coffee and avoid packing up these handmade Christmas quilts. I have more important things to do…like nothing.

Shameless Ask: If you like, love, or laugh at any of my rantings on this blog, please consider sharing them on your social media pages. This gets me closer to my dream of winning the lottery and being able to buy myself a publishing contract. #dreams #yolo #idontreallylikeyolo

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